Frozen Heart

Kyouta Ichijyou's Advice. Credit pic by Keeyo

When I've got this advices from my Japanese friend, Kyouta Ichijou...

Hmmmm..... I don't have any idea..

honetsly made me, CRY and ASK so much question in my head can't answer it...

hmm talk about the guy who I Love...??

maybe I'm just fansgirling with my Idol.. Chris 'Christyle' Gatdula (and I usually called him C.gat) from JabbaWockeeZ.

no one else just him in my heart now...

I can't describe my heart for that condition now...

I think when I got this Heartbroken last month... my heart became an ice mountain.

strong, white, never melt and still freeze there...

I never wanted my Ice Mountain to melt.. dunno why when I try to melt, it's useless for me and my heart too. maybe you can called me heartless....

but if I thinking about C.gat...

it's turning red and melting itself.

My heart always singing for him, even though I'm just a FAN.. LOL..

When I try to feel the love from the guys who "I looking for" around me, it's always made me sick!!

(yeah you know when the guys, said.. I LOVE YOU for the serious moment and of course asked to me wanna be his girlfriend, made me NOT FEEL for begining THE NEW LOVE STORY AGAIN!! remember the pain what I feel.. SAY NO TO BEING A COUPLE... sorry guys.. honestly, you guys TOO MUCH for me, and I don't deserved it. not now... )

But if I feel the love like a.. brothers sibling.. that's so make me GLAD..

honestly, I don't have a sibling brother. I'm of two sisters.

So.. I usually found the guys out there then became my brothers...

Of course I'm so glad to have a lot of Brothers...

I LOVE YOU BROTHERSSSSS... !!!

Yeah, my dream so impossible. WHY??

cause I dream C.gat will marry me someday in Vegas... LOLs...

(I swear and I know you guys OF COURSE wanna poke me when thinking my WILD dream.. LOLs ~)

and Kyouta said it's true... when I know C.gat had a girlfriend, I cryed all day long. "Why I cry for him?? why he made me more DOWN than MY PAST??? He just an Idol and of course not know when I'm exist for him too..."

(maybe You know me C.gat... *HOPE*)

but I'm still love him until now... hohohoo... *still became an ice mountain and only melting cause of him too*

How ever...

I'm still waiting the guy who loved, needed, cared, and accepted all myself in my life, for forever...

but....

I'm so sorry and my apologize Kyouta san...

maybe not NOW I wake up myself and to knock down my ice mountain.

let's the ice mountain melting of itself.... let it's flow by the time....

I don't want to obtrude myself for loving the REAL GUY for soon...

it's definitely will hurt him and my heart... I don't want it too...

And I always open my heart for you guys... time goes by...

anything can happened later... who knows???

LET'S BE MY FRIEND FELLAS....!!!!!

本当にすみませんキョウタさん。。

私はあなたの言葉に従わなければならない。

しかし、今ではないで、確かに。。。

いつもあなたのアドバイスにくれますよ。

どうもありがとうございます。。

I really apologize Kyouta san...

I will DO IT what you said to me.

but, not now... but CERTAINLY I do..

Always give your advice for me..

THANK YOU SO MUCH...

My Strong, White, Never Melt and Stil Freeze there... My Ice Mountain.

@nayawockeez